As humans we enjoy stability and security. Yes perhaps sometimes we like to stretch our legs and reach out of our comfort zone with an adventurous trip or a new adrenaline rich hobby. However, unplanned, perhaps unwanted change can throw us completely out of kilter and leave us feeling utterly lost and bewildered.
Life is a complex twisting journey which is a little like the books we had as children which allowed you to choose the destiny of your character and change the ending by making different options. We might decide to move, to take a new job or to have children and this creates a new chapter with new risks, options and opportunities. However sometimes we get something thrown in that we didn't bargain for. Or perhaps something we opted for has turned out slightly differently that we had planned or imagined. This is the time which causes us to stumble a little and find it hard to make sense of things. The unknown bears down on us and leaves us feeling out of control and anxious.
So, when this time appears and change rears its head at an unwelcome time, what can we do to get in 'control' of things again?
1. Forget control. Unfortunately as much as we like to think we are in charge here, we can only nudge things in certain directions, we cannot create outcomes. So imagine you are in a boat and instead of paddling against the river you allow the oars to sink to the bottom of the river bed and allow the boat to take you where the river flows...you may end up enjoying the view much more!
2. Breathe. Such a simple technique, but it really does make an awful lot of difference. When we worry about something our chest tightens and our breathing becomes shallow. The lack of oxygen can make it hard to think and even harder to relax. So taking a deep breath in and allowing it to slowly flow out can make the world of difference when change jumps out from behind a bush.
3. Think about the positives. There is always a silver lining to anything which at first appears bad. A redundancy can result in a new way of life and new career opportunities. A divorce can lead to new love, new friends and new adventures. A death can lead to acceptance of life's fragility and a growing appreciation for those you still have. When change appears and it feels scary, spend some time writing down potential positives to the situation and focus on these instead.
4. Accept that change will always be here. It is actually the only thing in life which is constant from birth to death!
5. Look to others for support. It helps to get other peoples views on new change. They are often more able to see the positives in the situation and they can help you adapt by giving you reassurance. Often it is easier to laugh at yourself and feel more lighthearted about things when you share them. So don't keep your fears inside, they look much scarier in there!
Good Luck with changes and remember, you are not alone. Change can be scary, but it always presents an opportunity for growth and new potential.
Warm Wishes.
Josie Was this useful? Like My facebook page... :)
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