I posted my views about limiting beliefs once before and I am back to tell you about how I have destroyed one of my own while here in Khanom.
It is far too easy to believe that you cannot. The truth is you can. We all can. The question is where to start and how to recognise what is really stopping you from making that move.
I know for me it is often easier and safer to believe I cannot do something, it saves me from the fear of failing and also from the effort of trying. Wow, when you put it like that it feels so lazy and weak but I know that some, if not all of you, will be able to admit the same feelings about certain aspects of your life.
How I destroyed a longstanding belief of my own:
'I cannot paint, I am no good at art.'
Ok, so I know this is not going to change my life, but if I can challenge this belief with my own determination then I can continue to go through my life challenging more powerful beliefs that I realise are merely invisible barriers to being who I want to be and getting what I want in life (first I have to work out what that is of course, but it's a start)
Ok, so one night while I was still in Samui I was thinking about things I think I cannot do and my mind came to painting. I instantly knew I was going to challenge this belief as I realised that I had never actually really tried, I had not been brilliant instantly and so in my mind, that was that.
My mother is an artist, our house is a wonderful array of moods and colours with every room featuring some glimpse of her artistic flair. Painted rugs, windows that are not there, views that never existed carrying you out into an illusionary world instead of looking at a wall. Quite wonderful when you think about it.
So I grew up watching her and thinking that she was quite brilliant. Then I started to watch my big brother, who it seemed shared her flair for drawing and painting. I tried sitting at the kitchen table drawing a vase a couple of times and gazing at my brothers attempts (4 years older) and thinking, 'well I am clearly quite terrible at this, I shall turn my hand to something else, digging in the garden perhaps? Yes, I always excel with a spade.' I would take myself away and feed my belief that art is not my thing and that I cannot do it, I cannot paint. Concreted in with every dig of the shovel.
But, I am older now, digging is dull and I am living with an artist. So, I took it upon myself to challenge this belief. The very next day I was all set up with a canvas, oil paints and brushes and a few words of guidance. The thing is I took to it like a duck to water and I realised that I only gave up before because I was bored too easily and put off my brothers lovely drawings. I don't mean to victimise myself here, I should have had a bit more bluster and persisted, but as I highlighted before, it is easier sometimes and less work, to give up.
I began layering the colours and discovered that it was engrossing and addictive and brilliant fun. Perhaps I did have some of that artistic blood running through my veins? I waited to make a wrong move and ruin it, but the oil paints were forgiving and every mistake turned into a new triumph of colour. I completed it today and am very pleased with my first efforts at painting and I no longer believe that I cannot paint.
I am not suggesting that I am the next Van Gogh, I chose an easy picture to copy and I don't think it will end up in a gallery (while I am alive anyway; that is how it works right?). However, I am going to do another painting at some point and get better and better. How many paintings do you have to do before you are an artist? I have decided the answer to that is one. That is my belief. So in my world, that's the way it works. After all, our version of the world is the only one we can really control.
I attach pictures because you need proof that I did this!
The funny thing is that I remember my Mum telling me the same story about her friend at school, my own wonderfully artistic Mum watched her friend draw beautifully and thought that she could not draw herself. How absurd.
Josie (artist) Was this useful? Like My facebook page... :)
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